I Am Blessed…

Yesterday morning, my husband, future daughter-in-law and I met with the oncologist surgeon at the big cancer hospital nearby for nearly three hours to discuss the plan of action.  We left the house at 6:30 a.m. when it was still dark outside and returned twelve hours later when it was once again, dark!  What a day!

First of all, I absolutely love and have a lot of confidence in my oncologist surgeon.  He is an expert in his field and I greatly admire his demeanor, approach, candidness and the way he calmly discussed every facet of my care and treatment.  He exceeded my expectations and I definitely feel like I’m in competent hands.  The intern who handled the initial interview with me was also wonderful, very compassionate and thorough.  She also had some very good recommendations regarding pain meds post-op since I seem to have so many sensitivities these days.

So, the plan is to have another surgery in five weeks to remove other potentially affected areas and also to do some exploratory work.  I’ll stay overnight anywhere from 1-4 days, depending on my recovery and any complications.

After the surgery, everything goes to pathology and combined with what they find during the surgery will recommend any further treatment or follow up. So, we will see what happens.

In the meantime, my surgeon wants me to train like I’m preparing for a marathon!  What?!  Haha!  Doesn’t he know I am three weeks post-op from a hysterectomy?  Haha!  Yes, of course, he does.  To place my body in the best pre-op position, I need to help my body heal by walking daily and getting back to my usual self.  So, beginning today, I plan on taking walks, even if it’s just a short one to begin with.

Yesterday as I walked around the large cancer hospital, I saw many patients in various stages of treatment.  My heart went out to all of them.  Some were in wheelchairs, some using walkers and some just their own two feet.  I passed by the wig shop.  I spent nearly three hours in the clinic.  By the time I left, I was on emotional overload, especially since I began the day on very limited sleep.  I felt like I did not belong there.  It was all surreal.

I cannot escape the reality of my situation but I must focus on the fact that I am incredibly blessed!!  My cancer was found in time!  Most with the type of cancer I had cannot say that.  It is most always found after death.  That fact, in and of itself, is deeply humbling.  My heart is filled with utmost gratitude to God for His mercy.

God has given me a deep peace that despite having to walk this journey, He will not only be with me, but also see me through to the other side.  I truly believe that with all my heart.  It does not, however, negate the level of difficulty of the path.  God never said it would be easy.  He only said that we’d never go it alone.

My future daughter-in-law texted me yesterday after attending my Dr. appointment with us,

“I hate that you’re on this journey but I can promise you that you will not go through any of it alone.”

That not only speaks volumes of her character, but is a great comfort to me.  She’s a special young lady.  She already plans on taking time off from work when I have my surgery to help me.

Then my older sister texted me that she would try to take off the week of my surgery and come down to be with me.  I was so touched by this.

And my husband and kids have been stellar.  I know this road is hard on them as well.

Despite the difficulties, the challenges, the emotional roller coaster ride, I recognize that my situation could have turned out totally different if it not for the Lord’s intervention.  And I have to believe that if He spared my life by allowing this cancer to be found in time, that He is also able to heal my body and walk beside me during this trial.  I have to believe that.

When I learned that the fibroid tumor they removed during my hysterectomy turned out to contain a rare, aggressive cancer just fifteen days ago, the Lord directed me to focus on Him and His character rather than my present situation.  If I solely focus on the situation, it will soon magnify and multiply.  However, if I also focus on the greatness and majesty of our great God, my faith grows and my prayers become more powerful as I trust Him.

So, that’s where I am … I am blessed.

…Oh, and if you’re wondering why we were out for twelve hours yesterday …

Hubby and I had a date.  We had a nice lunch together after my appointment, did a tiny bit of Christmas shopping, grocery shopping (’cause no date is complete without!), got ice cream, etc., etc.  It was so sweet of my husband to take off the entire day and really gave me something to look forward to after my appointment!  He’s so good to me.  Yes, I am blessed.


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